I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
