I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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