let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
