Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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