This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
