I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
