i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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