I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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