Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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