No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
