Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
