arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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