You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
