we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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