I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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