I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
