well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
