Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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