Porn is love you can see.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
