Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
