Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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