Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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