i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
