then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
