worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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