Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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