people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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