We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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