he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
