Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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