Dude my mom stole all your condoms
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
