it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
