There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
