D3 body, D1 cock
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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