i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just made out with a guy for $7.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize