I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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