Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
