my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
