just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
