she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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