the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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