Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I AM VODKA MAN
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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