everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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