My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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