well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Soap is not a condiment
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
