Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
