Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize