i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
