Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
