summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we should paint friendship bongs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
