I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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