so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
