what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
