Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
