You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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