just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize