Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
