Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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