well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
