Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
