My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
