I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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