I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
