you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
