you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
