I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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