Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
