I'll bet she douches with gravy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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