with your own penis?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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