I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
