I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
