So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
