Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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