Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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