She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
