i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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