Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
