Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
