i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So apparently I’m into choking now
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