I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
