If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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